Lia: Is this the book you are looking for?
**Ryujin was staring at the book she placed in front of Lia instead of meeting her eyes. Well, she’s still nervous as hell even though they’d already had a small talk when she and Chaeng arrived awhile ago.**
**She cleared her throat and lifted her head to meet Lia’s eyes before she answered.**
Lia: Oh. That’s great. At least you don’t need to wait for another week to get it. Or maybe drive somewhere else just to find a copy.
**Lia said as she punched it at the register. Then wrapped it with a brown thick paper before she handed it back to Ryujin.**
Lia: Here it is.
**Ryujin was about to step out of the counter when Lia spoke again.**
Lia: Uhm… are you… are you also into arts?
**That question stopped Ryujin from darting to the exit and turned her head towards the girl behind the counter, instead.**
Ryujin: Wha—what?
**Lia shrugged. Tension is now starting to crawl on her shoulders down to her arms. And she could now feel her palms turning cold.**
Lia: Hmm… arts. Painting, sculptures, and everything that involves creative minds? I… I knew a gallery twenty minutes away from here. Maybe… maybe you want to see it?
**The inside of her mouth is dry, and she couldn’t deny it ‘cause it’s preventing her from speaking straight. Yes, she’s stuttering, but Ryujin seemed not to notice it. She has her own battle within her that she needs to defeat.**
**Is she… is she asking me to go out with her? Ryujin thought.**
**It’s so tempting to say yes immediately. But the question “should I say yes?” kept on flooding inside her head. And she doesn’t know if yes is the right answer to her question.**
**Lia stood there for almost half a minute, waiting for Ryujin’s answer. If she’ll say no, I’ll stop thinking about her. Maybe she’s not interested in girls. I wouldn’t even dare to talk to her anymore. Not even look at her when she comes back. Shit, Lia! You’re overthinking, you know. What if she says yes?**
**There’s a lot of what ifs’ swarming inside her head. Some of them are gibberish, which causes her to think that she hopes she hadn’t asked anymore.**
Ryujin: Uhm… ah… I haven’t been to a gallery before. Well… I’m not saying I’m not into arts. It’s just… it’s just I don’t know where’s the nearest gallery here.
**Her voice was almost inaudible, but Lia caught each word. Why are you acting so weird, Ryujin? I thought you like her? Why are you making this thing hard for you? Just answer her yes or no for Pete’s sake!**
**But no matter how much she nagged herself to stay composed, her heart’s not obeying her. It’s wrecking every bone in her torso.**
**Lia finally smiled and released herself from holding her breath. Is that a yes? I mean, is she saying that it’s okay to see the gallery? I think it is ‘cause it feels like it.**
Lia: So… are you, you know, saying yes?
**Ryujin couldn’t let out the word “yes” in her lips, so she answered her with a nod and a pressed lips.**
Lia: All right! Hmm… Saturday? At eight? Here? Or… you want me to pick you up? Just let me know where?
Ryujin: I guess I’ll just drive here.
**Lia nodded and grinned. See, Lia? All you need is ask since it will take her a hundred years before she could even say a thing to you.**
**Lia knows that Ryujin has a thing for her, too. But waiting for her to make a move is like waiting for the sun to rise at the north and set at the south. In short, it’s impossible. She couldn’t even look into her eyes.**
*****
**Mina was expecting Chaeng to come back before lunch, but she didn’t come. Maybe, she enjoyed the town again. Or maybe she and Ryujin got into more talks and forgot about the time. So, she took her lunch alone and occupied the table where Chaeng always sits.**
**But it’s already five in the afternoon, and Chaeng isn’t still showing up, and Mina’s becoming wary about it. Then Ryujin appeared at the entrance, yawning as if she didn’t have enough sleep.**
Ryujin: You okay, Eonnie?
**She mumbled with her heavy eyes. And Mina could see from the way she walks towards her how sluggish she is.**
Mina: You… you all right?
Ryujin: Hmm… I guess so? I’m just a bit sleepy.
Mina: Why? What time did you go home?
**Mina was eager to know the truth as if she’s sure that something happened to Chaeng. She doesn’t know, but her instinct keeps on knocking at her like it’s wrecking some doors inside her head.**
Ryujin: I stayed at the bookstore until lunch. But I didn’t take my lunch there. Then the traffic was bad, and everything just kind of piled up. I was home I guess at one already.
**Such a long day for her sister. Mina thought. But where is Chaeng to her little adventure earlier? Where is she? Why didn’t she mention her?**
Mina: So, where is Chaeng? I mean, is she with you until you went home? Did she drive you to our house?
**Ryujin seemed uninterested in everything she’s hearing. Well, it’s the sleepiness that’s causing her to not mind everything around her. She couldn’t even focus on tying her apron on her waist. All she wants and needs is to lie down and sleep, and not to answer her sister’s questions.**
Ryujin: Hmm… I don’t know. She didn’t drive me home. She left, I guess after half an hour when we arrived there? But I’m not sure about that. She just looked for the book she told me she’ll buy, and drove back here. Why? She hasn’t come back yet?
Mina: She… she hasn’t. And I’m wondering where she is.
Ryujin: Ooh… possessive girlfriend, eh? Maybe she just walked around the town again or was stuck in a shop or something.
**Mina thought for a second. She’s right. Maybe she’s just busy roaming around again. Besides, it’s not like she had gone for twenty-four hours already. Stop this non-sense worrying, Mina! She nagged herself. But no matter how much she convinces herself that everything is fine and that Chaeng is just enjoying her time in town, her wariness worsens.**
Ryujin: Hmm… we have few customers today, eh?
Mina: Yeah. Everyone seemed to spend their time outside. I’m actually okay with it. At least I have time to sit and rest.
**Ryujin pulled the saucers at the bottom cabinet and placed them at the table, readying everything since her shift already started.**
Ryujin: Well, I would be happy to sit and rest, too, you know.
**She smiled weakly, and hoping to have more idle time, too, just like her sister.**
**Then both of them jumped when someone spoke. It was Bam, standing in front of the cash register. They didn’t see him walk at the front door. It’s like he just puffed in the air.**
Bam: Hi…
**He chuckled as if he knew that he’s starting to become annoying or something.**
Bam: Uhm… sorry I came back. I’m… I’m just going to have a coffee? I just love your coffee here, you know. It’s addicting.
**Mina forced a smile. Here we go again, Bam. Isn’t there another place where you could spend your day aside from my café?**
Mina: Oh… okay. I’ll just bring it to your table. Is that okay?
Bam: Sure, sure. No problem.
**Then he beamed another smile before he turned his back at Mina and Ryujin.**
**Ryujin leaned closer to Mina, enough to whisper in her ears.**
Ryujin: He’s starting to get annoying you know. I mean, can’t he just accept that you no longer like him? Give you space, something like that?
**Mina couldn’t agree less ‘cause that’s exactly what she’s feeling right now. That he seemed to be very insensitive about her not wanting to entertain him anymore. She just hopes that she has the courage to tell him to back off.**
**Mina sighed, instead, and just worked on the coffee that Bam ordered.**
*****
**Chaeng is still dizzy when she gained back her consciousness. But even though she could now feel herself again, opening her eyes is a bit of a struggle. It’s the sliver of light coming in inside the room where she was sitting is causing it to ache.**
**She tried to fight the pain in her eyelids, but the farthest thing she could do is just to let it stay half-open for a few seconds.**
**What’s going on with me? Where am I? Why does it hurt to open my eyes? And why does my body isn’t responding to all my commands?**
**Everything feels heavy. And no matter how much her brain sends a signal to each part of her body to move, it fails.**
**She saw nothing after she pulled her lids for a few seconds. Or maybe she did, it’s just, she couldn’t remember it. All she knows is the room is dark, but there’s a thin line of light on the floor. Maybe it’s coming from the window. But where is she? She asked again.**
**She could now feel the panic enveloping her. But since every part of her feels numb, all she could do is allow her tears to stream down her cheeks. Wherever she is, she’s not in a good state, and she knows that.**
*****
**Bam walked back to the counter where Mina was checking her inventory.**
Bam: Uhm… I have to go now.
**Mina lifted her head and put down the logbook at the counter. Finally… she thought.**
Mina: Oh… all right. Sorry if I wasn’t able to join you today. I need to finish checking the inventory so I could send my orders early tomorrow morning.
Bam: That’s fine. Totally fine. I actually enjoyed sitting alone and just watch everything around me.
**Mina smiled. This time, she doesn’t need to force herself to do so. She kind of appreciate the fact that Bam now appreciates the aloneness and maybe… just maybe he’ll stop bothering her sooner.**
Mina: Sometimes I do the same. You know, just sit at the corner, enjoy my coffee, and watch the trees swaying outside.
**Bam responded to her with a warm smile, which kind of melted her heart. Then the memory of their past suddenly flashed back into her head. Those were the days when they held hands going to school with Bam talking about the show he watched the night before. And her, just smiling and getting excited with everything he’s saying. Yes, indeed. It was their good old days.**
**But even though it’s one of the best things that happened between them, she no longer wants to go back to that moment. She no longer wants to hold Bam’s hand. Those things will only remain as part of her memory and not her present nor future. She thought.**
Bam: It’s kind of relaxing. Isn’t it?
Mina: Indeed.
Bam: Maybe… maybe I’ll do this again some other time. Don’t worry, I know I’m somewhat becoming annoying already and I no longer want to cause you trouble.
**Mina felt guilt suddenly surge inside her. Shit! He might have noticed me and Ryujin talking behind him. Or maybe my irritation is already reflecting on my face and the way I treat him. Not a very nice attitude again Mina. And this is not so you. She nagged herself. She’s kind of sorry for him. Well, should she say sorry? No. Of course, not! Apologizing to him will only make him more… less confident about himself.**
Mina: Oh… no. Of course, not. I don’t think you’re annoying or something. It’s just so happened that I’m always busy here. I… I couldn’t just abandon my work, you know.
Bam: Hmm… that’s what I’ve thought so. If I keep on coming here, I will just ruin your routine. And I know how irritating it is to just stop doing your scheduled task. It has a domino effect on your to-do list, right?
Mina: Ye—yeah.
**Mina was hesitant to answer him. Well, if she says yes, it will only confirm the fact that he’s starting to irritate her. But, there’s no other answer to that question aside from a “yes”. So she said what she has to say, and that’s to answer him with all honesty.**
**Bam nodded, and Mina could see within him that he understood this conversation. That aside from saying yes, she’s also telling him to at least distance himself to her. That’s the hidden message behind everything she just said.**
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