***JENNIE***
I’m no longer weeping or sobbing, yet I still feel the need for her embrace. Her slender arms caressing me made me forget that we’re in the middle of the highway, exposed to everyone who’s passing by.
“I’m sorry.”
She mumbled while pressing her cheek on top of my head. Her grip is tighter this time. It’s as if she’s savoring this moment, caring at nothing, but only the two of us.
She lifted her head and pulled her left arm away from my spine to tuck my hair to my ear. It’s not that I disapprove of her gesture, but I’m embarrassed to expose my messy look before her eyes. So I hid my face under her neck, then wiped my cheeks with my hand.
She might have noticed my embarrassment, so instead of brushing my hair to show my cheekbone, she dropped her hand and enveloped me again for another embrace.
“It’s getting cold. Why don’t we go somewhere?”
She whispered.
I didn’t notice that the temperature is dropping. Maybe because I am so satisfied with the warmth of her body against mine.
“Okay.”
I answered while I keep my face buried under her neck.
She loosened her grip, but her hands remained on my pelvic and not pushing me away even an inch.
It took me half a minute before I brushed my hair away from my now dried cheeks and dared to unveil my messy face.
I withdrew myself away from her neck to meet her eyes. She was gazing at me, casting a warm smile. Then she brushed my right cheek with the back of her index finger, which made me want to squeeze myself back into her arms.
“I’m hungry. Are you?”
I nodded and smiled.
My smile was weak, but I guess she understood why because she pulled me closer again to her until our noses touched. I didn’t lean back. If she’ll ever kiss me, I won’t give my disapproval. I’m too weak for that, and I know I’ll give in immediately once our lips meet.
Someone cleared her throat and we almost jump with it, but it didn’t separate us.
“I know you too are having a great time, but can we go somewhere… somewhere enclosed?”
Lisa dropped her hands to her side but grabbed my hand instantly. So our connection won’t break.
“Sure.”
Jisoo looked down at our intertwined hands and crossed her arms on her chest.
“So… maybe I’ll just drive on my own and follow?”
“Yeah.”
I said as soon as she finished her question.
I don’t mean to leave her alone in the car, but I don’t want to separate myself from Lisa this sooner. She’s like a magnet, and I’m a piece of metal that just sticks with her without the power to object.
She rolled her eyes and then let her arms fall to her side.
“Fine.”
She walked to the driver’s side and climbed in.
*****
***LISA***
I brought them to my secret haven, a 24/7 diner.
It’s a twenty-minute drive from the coffee shop and thirty minutes away from our neighborhood. It’s my go-to place whenever I find myself hungry in the middle of the night. And even though it takes thirty minutes before I could feed my growling stomach, I never mind because I love the space, the food, and the people serving in that place.
It’s still early, almost seven on my watch, so it’s acceptable that patrons filled every table in the diner, yet I’m hoping we’ll still find a place to sit in.
“Hey! You’re early today.”
It was Diana who greeted me when I pushed the door open. She’s behind the counter, in charge of the cash in and out.
Her family owns the place, and she works here night shift. And since fewer people dine in the middle of the night, everyone is already a familiar face to her.
“And you bring your friends with you.”
I shifted my eyes to Jennie, who’s squeezing herself to my left, while Jisoo is behind her.
Then I returned my gaze to Diana.
“I want to introduce them to your grilled burger. Do you still have space?”
“That’s good for the business. I’ll give you a discount.”
She winked, and I smiled at the thought of saving a few bucks today.
We’re almost blocking the way, but since the servers know me, they don’t yell at us. Instead, they just excuse themselves and give a smile.
Diana moved forward, half of her body protrudes from the counter, so she could see the entire diner.
“Hmm… it seems like a family occupied your space already. But they were sitting there for almost an hour now and looks like they’re about to leave. Would it be a pain for you to wait for a little while?”
The space she talked about was the one on the left side of the entrance. It was the last table and leaning on the wall. I like that space because it gives me privacy and I feel like I’m away from everything in this world.
“No problem. We can wait.”
She nodded and continued to do her job.
We moved to the corner, my eyes pinned on the table, then Jennie pulled the bottom of my white shirt to get my attention. I’m no longer in my shop uniform. Well, I removed it while on our way here.
She was staring at me when I withdrew my eyes from the table to meet her gaze. Maybe she couldn’t also believe that we had shared a long embrace and felt every part of our body against each other.
A smile suddenly plastered on my face just by recalling the moment on how she pressed her body against mine.
“What?”
She muttered, bewildered with my broad smile.
I shook my head, still meeting her eyes.
“I’m just glad you’re here. I mean… that you stepped out of the car and listened to every word I’m about to say.”
“Maybe… maybe I’m also wondering what explanation you’ll give me.”
She stepped forward and leaned her head on my shoulder, and that gave me an urge to wrap my arms on her back for support… and also to pull her closer to me.
This squeezing and pressing inside our personal spaces is something that I dreamt of.
“I never wanted Rosie. We’re close friends, but never in my life, thought about holding her in my arms.”
I whispered while resting my cheeks on her head.
She nodded while her head is still lying on my shoulder.
*****
***JENNIE***
I’m sitting next to Lisa, while Jisoo is enjoying her liberty on the bench facing us.
The thing is, each bench could accommodate three people without invading each other’s personal space. Though this is the case, I still couldn’t help myself from staying close to her. Our shoulders are bumping into each other, yet no one is complaining.
“So… what happened? Maybe you two can enlighten me?”
Jisoo eyed us after she dunked her fries in her mouth.
My eyes stayed on her while Lisa’s on me.
Well, maybe she’s waiting for me to speak up first before answering Jisoo’s question. Or maybe her stare means I should be the one to answer it, since Jisoo is my best friend, and they do not have a close bond yet.
“Let’s just say… we finally figured out that the space between us should not exceed one meter long?”
It sounded like a question rather than a statement, which made me realized that convincing her is such an impossible thing with what I’ve said.
Jisoo snorted, then bit her burger.
“I think I need a specific answer to my question.”
Her left brow went up.
Well, this is Jisoo, which means dropping a safe answer won’t be acceptable. She’s not the type of person who’ll just absorb whatever shit you’ll feed her.
I sat up straight, readying myself for the story I don’t know if I should talk about, while Lisa is beside me.
I sighed heavily. I guess I’m not ready yet.
“Why don’t we talk about this at home and just enjoy our meal?”
I mumbled.
Hoping she’ll let it go, and I promise to tell her everything before we sleep tonight.
“Why don’t you explain everything to me now because I’m really curious why you ended up crying an hour ago?”
Her voice was firm and louder this time. She’s mad, and I can’t blame her.
Well, if ever I’ll see her crying because of some guy or what, I’ll be as furious as hell, too. So, instead of stopping her, I just sit there, slowly nibbling my grilled burger.
“Or maybe I should direct my question to Lisa?”
Her gaze abruptly shifted from me to Lisa.
Lisa cleared her throat first before she whispered in my ear.
“You want me to answer?”
Maybe it’s better if I’ll give the floor to her rather than me answering the question because it’s more of her story to tell than mine, right?
I tilted my head not to meet her gaze, but to press my forehead to her cheek.
“May you?”
“Hmm…”
Jisoo was studying her intently.
Oh, my gosh! Jisoo, stop looking at her like that, you’re intimidating her.
“Hmm…”
Lisa cleared her throat again. Maybe she also doesn’t know how to put it into words.
“She caught me having a close distance with one of my colleagues.”
“Close distance?”
She frowned. She doesn’t like what she’s hearing from us.
“Can you two just talk in plain English?”
I leaned my back onto the backrest.
“She was under her friend’s arms when I saw them.”
I uttered the words as fast as I can because I no longer want to recall that scene.
“Oh… you mean hugging each other?”
She said casually.
“I didn’t hug her back.”
Lisa said defensively, while Jisoo nodded incredulously.
“I’m serious…”
Her tone went down.
“it’s not a mutual thing.”
Maybe she realized that explaining herself to Jisoo will no longer matter because we’re already okay.
Jisoo shook her head, not happy with everything she had heard.
Well, I know she likes Lisa and approves of her, but it looks like she changed her mind after she saw me snapped earlier.
“And you believed her? That she didn’t hug her back?”
I lowered my gaze to pick up my fries on the table, embarrassed that I easily gave in with the hug that Lisa shared with me.
“Hmm… maybe it’s fair to give her a chance?”
“Even if it feels like she cheated on you?”
She said it as if Lisa was not around.
I didn’t say a thing because that one stabbed me so deeply. It’s exactly what I felt when I saw her with Rosie.
She leaned forward and rested her arms on the table. Her next words are not for me, rather for this girl sitting beside me.
“I’m not sure if you’re telling the truth or not, and I don’t know how d’you convinced her, but I just hope this is the first and the last time I’ll see my best friend cry.”
She waited for Lisa to respond before she shifted on me.
“And I guess we have a lot of things to talk about later. What do you think?”
*****
***LISA***
Now I regret I brought them here. I mean… all these questions are killing me. To the point I want to shrink from my seat and allow the earth to swallow me alive.
But I guess this is part of entering Jennie’s life, dealing with the people close to her heart. That no matter how difficult it is, I need to endure it and be patient with it.
Someone’s phone chimed.
“It’s mine.”
Jennie whispered and then retrieved her phone in her purse.
“Shit! I forgot to message her.”
She said as she opened the message she received.
“Who?”
Jisoo asked.
“Grandma.”
“Oh, that’s bad.”
Jisoo said sarcastically.
Instead of saying something to Jisoo, she whirled towards me and lay her hand on my leg.
“Will you excuse me? I need to call grandma. I forgot to text her before we drove here.”
“Sure.”
I stood up immediately to let her pass, and she finds her way towards the door. I followed her with my eyes, wanting to join her so I could save myself from Jisoo’s endless question.
“Why don’t you sit down?”
Gosh! I’m back in this interrogation room again.
I slowly took my seat, wanting to stop everything around me so Jisoo won’t be able to open her mouth and say something. But that is an impossible thing.
Calm yourself, Lisa. Jennie will come back soon. This is just a few minutes of sitting with her best friend.
“You know what?”
Jisoo was dipping her fries when she spoke.
“I’m grateful that this thing happened. I mean… Jennie seeing you with your so-called ‘colleague’.”
I creased my forehead, confused by everything she said.
Why is she grateful for what Jennie saw back in the coffee shop? Is her anger just for a show?
“Oops! Don’t get me wrong. What I mean is…”
She bit half of her fries in her hand.
“If that didn’t happen, she won’t be able to see what she truly feels, and you might still be in the dark right now finding your space in her life. Asking every day if it’s possible for her to like you or not. That kind of thing.”
I’m not sure if I’m following her.
“But it hurts her… and seeing her like that hurts me, too.”
“Hurt or not… it’s worth it. Isn’t it? Just remember to look at the brighter side.”
Look at the brighter side. I think I’m getting it now. She’s right. If she didn’t see us, I’m still clueless until now.
“Don’t worry. I still like you even though you made her cry.”
That statement at least calmed my senses down.
“I just want you to promise on something, that it won’t happen again. That it’s the first and the last time I’ll see Jennie cry… because of you.”
I promise. Because it’s excruciating to see her drenched in tears.
“It won’t happen again.”
I whispered.
“Better be. Because if you have a plan on cheating on her, well, I know where you live, better hide somewhere else. Okay?”
I nodded. I think my body stiffened again.
“Hey! Relax. We’re fine now. So eat!”
My shoulders sagged. Relieved that we’re finally done with this conversation.
“Finally… I can now enjoy my food. It’s kind of difficult to digest it. You know.”
She laughed, which tells me she’s enjoying this little show.
“You two are okay now?”
I didn’t notice Jennie until she lay her hands on my shoulder while I’m enjoying my burger.
I stood up immediately so she could slide into our table.
“Well… we just realized that we don’t have a choice. This will become a normal set-up for the three of us, so better work this out. What do you think?”
She smirked and winked.
Jennie shook her head.
“You’re unbelievable.”
*****
***JENNIE***
It’s almost nine when Lisa pulled her car into their garage. I’m not that worried though because I think mom is not yet home. Besides, I already informed grandma we’re having dinner with Lisa.
“You want to go inside?”
She said after she pulled the hand brake.
“I’ll make you a coffee. I have other flavors that you might not have tasted yet.”
It’s hard to say no, but even though she and her coffee are so irresistible, I need to be firm and go home. I promised grandma we’ll be home by nine. Aside from that, I’m sure Jisoo already entered the house, and I don’t want grandma to wonder why I’m still here.
I cringed my nose.
“I can’t. Not that I don’t want to… it’s just… grandma is expecting me to be home by nine.”
That suddenly changed her mood from sweet sunshine to a gloomy day.
I placed my left hand on hers and squeezed it.
“Maybe… tomorrow?”
And that brought back the sweet smile on her face, which made me smile, too.
Ah! This girl is melting me from head to toe, and I don’t mind having this feeling forever.
She reeled her hand up so our hands could intertwine.
“Okay… tomorrow then!”
“Can I go now?”
She pulled our hands closer to her and lay them down on her leg.
“Can you give me five more minutes?”
She muttered under the dim light of her car.
“Okay…”
I relaxed my back on my seat and closed my eyes. I love how she holds my hand. It makes me feel wanted and cared for. And the way she circles her thumb below my thumb creates butterflies inside me.
“Jennie?”
I opened my eyes and lifted my head to see her face.
“I don’t want to assume things… that’s why I want to know the truth... that thing inside you.”
I’m not sure what she wants to know. Or maybe I know… I’m just waiting for her to drop the question rather than saying it out loud.
“What do you need to know?”
She took a deep breath. Maybe needing some courage before dropping the question.
“I just… I just want to hear if you like me, too.”
I slowly drew my hand on hers. I don’t want to let her hand go, but there’s no better way to give my answer to her than this.
Her shoulders sagged. Eyes pinned on her empty hand. This pains her.
“Lisa?”
I called her so I could see her face.
She looked up but avoiding my eyes. Is she going to cry? Oh, no… no… please don’t. Lisa, don’t.
“I’m sorry…”
I whispered. I just wish you’ll find this better than hearing the words you want to hear.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes… and before I lose the courage I’m having right now… I put my hands at the side of her neck and pulled her until our lips meet.
We kissed.
It was my first, and I never regret that I gave it to her.
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