***JENNIE***
I climbed the stairs as quietly as I could. I don’t want to wake anyone since it’s already late. Also, I’d rather savor the moment we had at the front walk than talk to anyone at this hour.
Grandma’s bedroom door opened as I reached the top. It’s mom.
“You just arrived?”
She whispered under the lightless hallway.
“Yes, mom.”
I whispered.
“How was it? Did her mom treat you nicely?”
I’m guessing she was already dreaming when I arrived and just woke up to check if it’s me who opened the door.
“Why don’t you rest mom? It’s already late. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow.”
She deserves a rest since she rarely had one after she moved to the new office. She’s filled with lots of training and new tasks.
But even though she goes to the office as early as her usual time and comes home late, I never heard her complain.
“Better idea, honey. Let’s talk tomorrow.”
She kissed me on my forehead and uttered her good night before she shut the door and left me in the hallway.
I smiled and nodded, even though I know it’s impossible to talk to her nowadays.
*****
***LISA***
I couldn’t erase the smile on my face even after I tucked myself under the sheet, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to sleep tonight.
Well, I wasn’t expecting a goodnight kiss from her.
But even though it was only on my cheek, and not like those goodnight kisses I’ve seen on TVs and movies, I still treasure it because it was my first.
I closed my eyes. Trying to recall every single part of that moment, which to my surprise, everything flashed back without exerting so much effort.
The sound of her voice calling my name soothes me until this very moment. And the way she slowly took her step towards me still makes my heart stop from pounding.
The smell of her perfume is still lingering in my head, and the touch of her lips... is like silk caressing my entire body.
Why do you have such an effect on me?
I sighed.
“You’re making me fall for you even more.”
I whirled to my other side and retrieved my phone.
Without further battle, if I’ll send her a good night message or not, I typed the message instantaneously and clicked the send button.
Me: Good night!
Me: Have a good night’s sleep!
Should I thank her for the kiss? No! I should not.
And when I’m about to throw it back to where I retrieved it, it chimed.
Jennie: Good night, too!
*****
***JENNIE***
I sauntered to the dining room as soon as I noticed Jisoo is no longer on my side. Maybe she’s with grandma having breakfast.
Well, I’m right with my guess because she’s already sitting and laughing with grandma when I stood in the doorway.
“Baby, good morning. Take a seat.”
Grandma stood up to get a plate in the dish cabinet.
I walked towards the table lightheaded and pulled a chair to sit in.
Jisoo moved her chair closer to me and whispered.
“Do you have a story that might surprise me?”
I shoved her back to her seat and returned my gaze to grandma.
“Later.”
I muttered.
“How’s dinner last night?”
Grandma set the plate in front of me before she planted herself back in her seat.
“It was fancy. I mean... It was like sitting in a five-star hotel in the city with an outside view that everyone would love to see. I bet everything is expensive in that place.”
“Wow! Is that how generous her mom is?”
I picked up a slice of bread on the table and placed it on my plate. Then I nodded.
“Yeah! What’s more surprising is... her mom owns it.”
I looked up to grandma to see her reaction. I wonder if she knew all these things.
“What?”
Jisoo almost jumped in surprise.
“That’s how rich she is?”
I also have the same question last night, but kept it to myself.
“Yeah...”
“Whoa! That’s amazing. I didn’t even deduce that Lisa is as rich as that.”
She exclaimed. Then I heard her sip her coffee.
“That’s why I like that kid. She doesn’t put her parents’ wealth in her head.”
Grandma butted-in.
“Did she tell you... that the coffee shop is her dad’s?”
Grandma continued.
“Seriously?”
My eyes widened.
Why didn’t she mention this to me? We’ve been talking for a while now, but she said nothing about her parents’ businesses. I thought she’s working at the coffee shop to support her allowance or something.
“Yes. See. That’s how humble that kid is.”
“I think I’m liking her more now.”
Jisoo forked another egg from the center and placed it on her plate.
“Do you like her more now?”
I couldn’t believe Jisoo is revealing these questions in front of my grandma.
“She’s nice. I have no reason not to like her. You know.”
I tried to answer her question as innocently as possible. I don’t want grandma to have a hint with the words coming out of my mouth.
“Hmm... you’re right.”
“But what do you think about her mom?”
Grandma pressed.
“She’s super nice grandma. Aside from that, she’s a joker, too. She and Lisa have a great relationship.”
I think I’m more awake now than when I took my seat several minutes ago because I could now hear the enthusiasm in my voice.
“Have you had an encounter with her before, grandma?”
“Hmm... yeah. When they moved here several years ago, and whenever she knocks on my door to thank me for taking care of her daughter. Well, I also find her nice. Aside from that, she’s a very elegant woman, too. I have nothing against her personality.”
Grandma filled her mouth with the bread she’s been holding for a while now.
“I bet you remember that the only thing I don’t like about her is whenever she leaves Lisa at home... all alone.”
I nodded with everything she said. Well, that’s also the only thing I don’t like about her—leaving Lisa alone.
“I’m glad you had a great time with them. Let’s invite them one of these days for dinner so we could express our thank you to Julia for taking you to dinner.”
I don’t know why, but the suggestion made me smile.
“That’s a great idea, grandma. Let’s cook for them.”
*****
***LISA***
“Good morning!”
Tom greeted me when I entered the shop. It looks like he’s also in a pleasant mood today, just like me.
“Good morning!”
I walked to the locker room, still wearing the smile I wore from last night.
“Whoa! What’s with the happy face?”
I opened my locker door before I send my eyes back to him. I didn’t know he followed me. He’s leaning at the door frame with his arms crossed on his chest.
“Well...”
“Oh... wait! I think I know the answer to that.”
He interjected.
He stood up straight and walked towards me.
“Last night was the dinner! Wasn’t it?”
Instead of saying a word, I just nodded furiously.
“Aaaah! So, that’s the culprit to that broad smile, huh? By the way, how was it?”
He’s now standing behind me a couple of feet away while I secure my apron on my waist.
“How was what?”
That question forced me to turn my head to the entrance and saw Rosie walking towards us while tucking her hair under her hairnet.
“Well, she and Jennie had dinner with her mom last night.”
Tome said proudly. It’s as if it’s his story to tell. I hit him on his chest with the back of my hand enough to make him wince.
“Oops! Sorry!”
He mouthed under his breath.
“You and Jennie had dinner last night? With your mom?”
Rosie didn’t dare to look at us. She just continued to open her locker and pulled the apron she neatly stuck inside.
“Hmm... yeah.”
I said hesitantly.
I’m not sure how to answer her question.
Well, it’s because I couldn’t forget what Tom told me the other day—that Rosie likes me.
She carefully closed the door of her locker. Then she faced us with a broad smile. But her eyes tell a different story.
“That’s nice. I bet you had an exceptional night last night. Weren’t you?”
I’m not sure if answering her question will make a difference. If only I have a choice to skip it, I will. But it looks like I don’t
“Yeah... I did.”
I pressed my lips before I let out a quick smile. I could feel that Tom is in the same awkward state as I am.
“Good!”
She mumbled while I held my breath.
“I’ll go now.”
She whispered and then whirled to exit the room.
Tom waited for her to clear the room before he moved closer to me and whispered.
“I’m sorry! I forgot about what I told you the other day.”
I hit him again in his chest and shook my head.
“You’re the one who mentioned this to me, then you did this to her.”
My voice is so low that no one would ever guess what I’ve said.
“It just so happened that I’m too excited for you, that’s why I forgot.”
“I know... well, let’s not talk about this here.”
“All right.”
*****
***JENNIE***
“What else did you two talk about last night?”
I haven’t told Jisoo yet about the conversation we had in the kitchen. I’m terrified that grandma will overhear us, so I waited for us to leave the house first before telling her everything.
“She confessed.”
She stopped pushing the car in her hand, which obliged me to stop at the foot of it.
“You mean... she finally told you she likes you? And that she’ll wait for you until you’re ready?”
She exclaimed.
“Why don’t you lower your voice before I answer all your questions? You’re embarrassing me. Do you know that?”
“Oops! Sorry!”
She turned her head from left to right, seeing some oldies staring at her, which made her slightly bow her head to apologize.
I stepped sideward so she could pass until we’re leveled again.
“So... how was the conversation went?”
“Strange... it felt strange.”
“Strange? What does it mean?”
“I mean... it was the first time a girl confessed to me. But unlike guys who just tell me this and that, the way she chose her words was different. I mean... the words she used were not meant to flatter me. And the way she said it... it’s like she’s not waiting for me to fall for her. Like, she just wanted to express it... nothing more.”
I stopped to pick a can of pork and beans on the shelf and stuffed it into our cart.
“But the more she doesn’t ask you to fall for her, the more you find yourself standing at the edge of falling. Aren’t you?”
Her voice was flat, but it pierced inside.
“I like the feeling... I like the attention... and everything feels right whenever I’m beside her, whether we’re just walking side by side or sitting opposite each other. Sometimes even the silence feels unquestionable. What do you think this is?”
“I think... you need to loosen up and go with the things that will make you happy.”
“Even if it means disappointing my mom... or grandma?”
“well, it’s something I can’t answer for you. It’s something you have to decide on your own.”
We continued to circle every booth. My mind is still composing the next question to ask. But I guess there’s no more to ask. Or maybe I’m stuck in the middle of loosening up and disappointing my mom.
“Why don’t you call her? Let’s invite her for a snack or coffee before we go home? What do you think?”
“Hmm... I think she’s working right now because I didn’t see her car in their garage earlier.”
“Oh... so why don’t we visit her in the coffee shop?”
Why not, right?
*****
***LISA***
Tom and I keep looking at each other while working behind the counter. It’s because Rosie has been silent since our encounter this morning.
Now I’m not sure what to do.
“I’ll go to the restroom.”
I heard her say to one of the crews.
“What now?”
I whispered to Tom.
“Nothing. She’ll get over it.”
“I don’t think I can watch her like that every day.”
he pressed a hazelnut syrup in his cup before he spoke again.
“Then tell her everything. That will help her get over this sooner.”
“You mean... that I like Jennie? and that mom likes her, too?”
“Yeah... what else do you have in mind?”
He smirked.
“It’s more difficult than when I confessed my feelings to Jennie.”
“Then... allow yourself to see her miserable until she moved on.”
I resigned.
I guess I really don’t have a choice but to have a small talk with her. Regardless if it will hurt her today or not.
She came back still sulking and just trying to pull a smile whenever a new customer is coming in.
I walked towards her without a definite plan on how to pull this out.
“Do you want to take a break?”
She stopped writing the name on the cup in her hand and slowly tilted her head towards me.
I need to smile, right? So, she won’t think that I feel guilty about what she’d heard earlier?
“Now?”
“Yeah...”
I paused and gazed at the line in front of her. Maybe this isn’t the right time for this, right?
She placed the cup on the counter together with the marker she’s holding in her hand.
“Will you cover me?”
She said to the new crew she’s been training since last week.
We stepped out at the back door, which leads us to the back parking lot.
“How are you?”
“Fine, I guess.”
Well, you don’t look fine. I want to say. But I guess that’s an insensitive comment.
“Well...”
I paused, still weighing if this is the right time to talk about it or not. Maybe I won’t have a better opportunity than this, so I better say it, anyway.
“Mom and I had dinner with Jennie last night. I also told her I like her and that it won’t be a problem if she won’t have the same thing for me.”
I waited for her to say something, but she didn’t say a word. She’s keeping her silence now for almost five minutes.
Should I break this moment and just walk away? At least I told her what she needs to hear, right? The thing is, I couldn’t move my feet. It’s rooted on the concrete pavement at the back of this coffee shop.
She’s not looking at me, but at the wall behind my back. I want to know the things running in her head. Is she mad? I want to shout and ask what’s going on inside her. But my lips are betraying me at this moment because I couldn’t open them to say the words I want to say.
Maybe I’m too focused on pushing myself to say another word because the next thing I know, she already wrapped her arms around my waist.
She’s hugging me so tightly that I don’t have the strength to pull her away.
“Why her? Why not me?”
*****
***JENNIE***
I pushed the glass door, not minding if the lie is long or not. I don’t intend to buy coffee. I’m here to invite her for a snack.
Where is she? I don’t see her behind the counter.
“Jennie!”
I recognized that voice. And it’s coming from my right—claiming booth.
“Hey! Tom.”
I said grinning.
“Where’s Lisa?”
“Oh... she’s at the back. I think... taking her break.”
“Okay, thanks!”
I’m about to turn around to exit the shop when I heard him said something again.
“Better use the back door. Wait for me, I’ll lead you there.”
I didn’t move. I stayed there until he squeezed in and stand right next to me.
“Follow me.”
I followed him, and we walked to the opposite end of the claiming booth. There’s a lot of customers today than on the day I first came here.
“Here we go.”
He opened the door for me, and before I stepped out, I said my thank you first.
He’s still holding the door for me when I stopped at the mouth of the doorway. There’s no way I want to take another step.
There’s no way I want to call her name and say hi to her.
This girl... this girl I once met was holding her tight. Like they’re having the best moment of their life. Then what about all the things she told me last night? What was that? Was that a joke? Am I a joke to her?
I stepped backward and whirled to the main door as fast as I can.
I didn’t say goodbye to Tom. I have no time because my eyes are about to betray me if I’ll dare myself to say another word.
I opened the driver’s door and climbed in.
“Is she there?”
I’m not sure if it’s the question Jisoo asked because something’s ringing in my ears. I couldn’t hear her clearly, and everything in front of me is a blur.
*****
***LISA***
“Lisa!”
Finally, I could now get out of Rosie’s arms.
I pushed her away from me—arm length.
“I’m sorry, Rose.”
She doesn’t look hurt, rather smirking when our eyes met.
What was that?
“Lisa!”
I tilted my head and saw Tom holding the back door. It was him calling my name.
Then I let go of Rosie without saying another word.
What’s going on? Why does Tom look so worried?
“Hurry!”
He’s waving at me frantically.
“Why?”
I said while I ran towards him.
“Jennie...”
His voice was cracking.
“Jennie? What about Jennie?”
“She saw you...”
He looked past at me.
“with that. I don’t think she likes what she saw.”
“Oh! Shit!”
I think I understand now why Rosie is more than happy than sad with everything I said. I couldn’t believe she did this to me.
*****
***JENNIE***
I pulled at the shoulder to park the car. I can’t go home like this. So, I need to calm myself first before I start the engine again.
I know Jisoo is still bewildered by how I drove out of the parking lot without saying a word.
“What happened back there?”
I didn’t say a word. I just tightened my grip on the steering wheel. Both angry and hurt with everything I saw.
I want to scream. I want to ask why it hurt so much. We’re not together yet, but it feels like she cheated on me.
Jisoo grabbed my forearm and spoke again.
“What happened back there?”
A little louder this time, but before I opened my mouth to answer her question, a car pulled in front of us. It’s her. It’s Lisa.
Jisoo unclenched her hand on my forearm and grabbed the door when she saw Lisa get out of her car. She might have guessed that Lisa did something to me back in the coffee shop. I don’t want her to meddle in this, so I grabbed her arm to stop her.
“I’ll handle this.”
I’m trying to control my voice. It’s cracking between words because it’s so difficult to breathe.
*****
***LISA***
“Jennie!”
I knocked on her window, not sure if it’s the right thing to do. But I’m trying to control myself as much as I can.
“Jennie! Please!”
I shouted again. Panic is enveloping me.
She’s not moving inside. Her eyes are straight ahead and filled with anger.
I stepped backward.
“Please. Let’s talk!”
I said under my breath.
The door opened, and she stepped out of the car. If staring at someone could kill me, I’ll be dead now.
“It’s not what you think it is!”
I mumbled.
“Then what was it?”
Her voice was dry and no emotion.
“Hmm? What was it?”
I looked down. I could no longer meet her eyes.
“I thought you’re here to explain everything to me. But why can’t you say something? You can’t even look me in the eye. Is it because what I saw back there doesn’t need further explanation?”
“No... it’s not true. We’re just talking. I’m just... I’m just telling her I like you... and that I’ve already confessed to you.”
“Really?”
She said incredulously.
“You’re just talking? With her hugging you tight? If Tom didn’t interrupt you, what else would happen?”
She clenched her hands. If I’ll dare to step forward, she might hit me with those fists.
“It also surprised me when she hugged me. But now I know why.”
“Oh... really? You’re as surprised as I am?”
I didn’t answer. There’s no point in uttering another word. It might only heighten the anger she’s having right now.
We stood there for over a minute before she stepped backward to rest her back at the driver’s door, and that’s the only time I looked at her again.
“I thought you mean everything you said last night. I thought you’re different from everyone...”
Her voice is softer this time, maybe she’s also trying to calm herself.
“But this... you made me feel like...”
She paused again and then closed her eyes.
“like you cheated on me.”
I didn’t mean for her to feel this way, so I stepped forward. Grabbed her hand and pulled her against my body.
Words aren’t enough to make her feel better. So, instead of saying a word, I wrapped my arms as tightly as I could against her and never let go.
She didn’t push me away or even complain. But as soon as our body met, she gave in and let her tears fall endlessly.
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