***JENNIE***
I’m still in the middle of my dream, but I could also feel the sun kissing my cheeks.
Should I get up? Or stay under my sheet?
Why not stay for five more minutes?
I peeked at the screen with my right eye because my pillow is blocking half of my face.
Lisa: Good morning!
Seeing her name appear on my screen made me want to smile. What’s going on with me? I’ve been like this since last night after we said good night on my grandma’s porch—smiling without a reason. Or maybe I know the reason, I just don’t want to admit it to myself.
Well, I’m not saying I don’t like this feeling. But, really? Jennie?
Me: Hi! Good morning to you, too!
Lisa: Still half asleep, or ready to have breakfast?
Me: Still half asleep, I guess.
Me: Why so early?
Lisa: Early? It’s already seven o’clock.
Me: But you never wake up at seven. As far as I remember?
Lisa: Whoa! That’s mean!
Lisa: Hahaha!
Lisa: I run. That’s why.
Me: Oh…
Lisa: So… breakfast?
Me: Why?
Lisa: Hmm… pay back, I think?
Lisa: You made me lunch yesterday, so maybe it’s my turn to prepare a breakfast for you today?
Me: Oh… Okay, but I guess I still need five more minutes.
I kind of like the warmth of the morning sun on my face, and I still want to feel it a little longer.
Lisa: Hmm…
Lisa: Then I’ll wait.
Me: What if it will take over five minutes?
Lisa: Well, I’ll still wait.
Lisa: No matter how long it takes.
Are we still talking about breakfast? I want to ask because it feels like it’s more than that.
Me: Is that how patient you are?
Lisa: I might be impulsive, but I’m patient when needed.
So, I guess we’re no longer talking about breakfast?
Me: Are we still talking about breakfast?
I let it out, but I didn’t regret it. I just… I just don’t want to assume things.
Lisa: Well…
Lisa: Yes…
Lisa: And maybe more than that?
Me: Hmm… Okay!
So, it’s a double meaning, and I’m right. But I don’t want to prolong this conversation anymore. I mean, not on the phone. If she wants to talk about this, then maybe it’s better if we talk in person.
Me: I’ll be ready by 7:30.
Lisa: I’ll be there when you’re ready.
I put back my phone on where it used to sit. Then I pulled my pillow, so I could have something to hug.
“Are you sure you’re willing to wait for me?”
I said under my breath.
“What if it will take years? Will you still wait? And what if it won’t happen? Will you get mad at me?”
I turned to my left and shook my head. Sweats are forming on my forehead.
What’s the point of asking these questions? Remember? You only asked her to be a friend?
Or maybe… You’re now considering something else?
*****
***LISA***
What should I buy? Pancake? Donut? Sandwich?
I couldn’t decide. I’m not used to doing this, so I bought the one closest to breakfast—pancake and coffee.
I drove back to my house to park my car and walked to their house.
Well, I’m just in time. It’s 7:25 on my watch when I reached their porch.
Message her or press the doorbell?
But what if grandma opens it, or her mom? What should I say? Also, I only have two sets of breakfast. What now?
Shit! Lisa! Why do you have so many questions? Just ring the f*cking bell!
I heard footsteps running towards the door. Did someone see me walk towards their house?
“Hey!”
She said after she opened the door.
“How did you…?”
I’m not yet finished with my question, but she already answered it.
“Saw you crossed the road through my window.”
“Are you waiting for me there?”
“Jennie! Who’s on the door?”
I heard grandma shouting somewhere. It’s far from where we are. Maybe she’s in the kitchen or farther than that.
“It’s Lisa, grandma!”
She shouted back.
“Let her come in.”
Before she said something to her grandma, she faced me first, then she followed it with a question.
“Do you want to come in? I mean, with those?”
She eyed the paper bag I’m carrying in my right hand and the coffee on my left.
“I only have two. Is it okay if we’ll eat these here?”
I pointed at the table on the left side of their porch.
“Sure! That would be better.”
She smiled at me before she replied to her grandma.
“Can we just stay here outside? Have our breakfast here on the porch?”
“Oh… Okay! You want me to bring you something there?”
“No grandma, we’re fine! I brought something for Jennie.”
Oops! Did I use the right words—brought something for Jennie?
“All right, then.”
She closed the door behind her, and we headed to the table.
I set the bag first before I took my seat, while she sat opposite to me.
“Here’s your coffee and pancake.”
I said while I lie the two in front of her.
“I don’t actually know what to get us.”
“I like pancakes. You brought the right thing.”
She beamed a smile.
I’d love to see that smile forever. Are you going to allow me?
I guess not. So before I get sad with the idea that it won’t happen, I just smiled back at her.
“All right! Let’s eat?”
“Let’s eat!”
I’m too hungry to let these pancakes wait for me. So I mouthed one-eighth of it to ease the hunger I’m feeling.
“Hmm… Do you want to stroll later? At the park, maybe? We have a park here. We can roam around with our bikes or just walk.”
I mouthed another slice of pancake, bigger this time.
“I want to, but I need to do the laundry today. Mom will be furious if it’s still undone when she comes back tonight.”
I nodded. Should I offer her my help? Well, if she’ll say yes, that means spending time with her, right? And I don’t mind spending it even in laundry time.
“Do you need help?”
Her forehead creased.
Shit! Is it weird to offer help? I mean… doing the laundry thing?
“Is it weird?”
“A bit… besides, I don’t think I want you to touch my dirty clothes.”
She chuckled, and I guess it’s not a good idea.
“Why don’t we watch something at your house tonight, instead? That is, if you have nothing to do later.”
She wasn’t looking at me, but on the pancake she’s slicing with her knife.
“Sure… Sure.”
I said immediately, afraid that she’ll take it back.
She nodded and ended it with a smile.
Eyes still pinned on her pancake, though.
*****
***JENNIE***
I dialed Jisoo’s number after I put all my clothes in the machine since this will take some time.
“Hey!”
She answered on the first ring.
“Wow! Not busy, huh?”
“Yeah! I’m just wasting time in my room.”
“If you’re just wasting your time, then why not come over here and visit your best friend? What do you think?”
She laughed, and hearing her laugh again after a long week of not seeing each other made me miss her even more.
“Don’t worry, I’ll surprise you one of these days. Just don’t be too excited.”
“Forget it!”
And we both laughed.
“So… what’s keeping you busy there?”
“Laundry?”
“Seriously? You’re in the laundry shop now?”
“Yeah, and I miss being there because I have you every time I’m killing my time in the laundry.”
“You just miss being here and don’t miss me? That’s mean!”
“Well, I miss you, too. You know!”
“I miss you, too, Jennie.”
Now, I’m feeling lonely and sad. I wish she’s a few blocks away from grandma’s home so I could see her anytime I want.
I heard her sigh on the other line. Maybe she’s as sad as I am.
“So, tell me about this girl you met in your neighborhood. Is she pretty?”
“Whoa! Why exactly are you asking me this question? And what do you want to hear from me?”
“I don’t know, maybe an honest answer?”
I know, even if she’s miles away, I could see her grinning with the words she said.
“What?”
“Well, I’m your best friend, Jennie. You can’t hide anything from me. I know when something is going on with you. So tell me something I don’t know.”
Well, there’s no point in lying anymore because regardless of how much I hide it, Jisoo will see and feel it.
“I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’m thinking right now.”
“Does that mean it’s confusing you? Or rather, she’s confusing you?”
“Hmm… maybe… a little.”
“Nah. I don’t think so. I think it’s confusing you big time.”
I said nothing. This entire conversation is giving me a f*ck. I mean, I’m questioning everything now, and thank you Jisoo for making it worst.
I know there’s something odd about the way I smile whenever I see her. But…
“Why don’t you answer my question? Do you think she’s pretty? Like it makes you smile without a particular reason?”
She always does. I want to say. But what if Jisoo will look at it differently? I don’t want to lose my best friend because of this thing happening to me.
“Don’t worry, I won’t judge. I always say this to you, but I’ll say it again. I’m your best friend, no matter what.”
Is it time for me to say something? But how am I supposed to tell Jisoo if I couldn’t even admit it to myself? I couldn’t put a name on it.
“Why don’t you come over? And help me figure things out?”
“Hmm… Okay, I get it. I’ll be there soon… I promise.”
Then we hang up.
*****
***LISA***
I went straight to the kitchen after breakfast. I need to see my supplies so I could list what’s missing.
Well, it looks like I’m missing everything because I’ve already consumed all of it during the entire week of my hibernation.
“Hello, Tom?”
“Hey! What’s up?”
“I think I need your help.”
I said it in a low voice.
“Are you okay? What happened?”
“Yeah, I am. I just need to go to the groceries, and maybe you could help?”
“For Pete’s sake, Lisa. I thought something bad happened to you!”
“Don’t shout at me! This is an emergency! We’re having a movie here at home tonight, and I badly need your help!”
He laughed.
Do I sound pathetic with every word I’ve said?
“Fine! Fine! Let’s make it the best movie date, ever!”
“It’s not a date, Tom. We’re just… hanging out. You know.”
“Oh, shut it! I’m not born yesterday to not know anything. By the way, what time do you need to go to the groceries?”
“Why not after lunch?”
“Okay. No problem. Pick you at 1 o’clock.”
Glad I have a best friend who could do stupid shit with me.
*****
“What exactly do you have in mind?”
He said while pushing our cart.
“Popcorn? Soda? Nachos? I’m not sure. Maybe you could help me think, since that’s the reason I brought you here with me. Do your job, please?”
“Sometimes I want to ask God why he gave me a user best friend.”
I hit him in his right arm, and he laughed.
“Can you just focus and think?”
“Fine, let’s get some nachos.”
“It’s messy. Maybe she’s not yet comfortable with that kind of stuff in front of me.”
“Okay. Popcorn then, and some cheese sticks? Then maybe you could order pizza later? What do you think?”
“Now you’re working. Great job!”
I grinned and gave him two thumbs up.
“Ah! Don’t mention it. It’s nothing.”
We continued to circle the groceries after we got all the things I need for tonight. Maybe there’s something I could find for my fridge. In case, I want to hibernate again.
“Well, did you notice something odd about Rose last night? At the party?”
“What about?”
“I think she doesn’t like your girl, Jennie.”
Shit! That ‘your girl Jennie’ thing is like a song that angels sing in my ears. I could put it in replay if it’s on Spotify.
“What makes you think she doesn’t like Jennie?”
“So, you didn’t notice, huh?”
“Just spill it, Tom. Why do you always hang me with your sentences?”
He laughed.
“Because you’re not so good at observing things around you. Now I’m the one giving you a job.”
“Can you just tell me about Rosie?”
I begged.
“Well, I don’t know. Maybe she’s jealous of how you stare and talk to your girl.”
“Rose is one of our closest friends, Tom. Maybe it’s not right to say something like that about her.”
“Why not? I’m just telling you what I’ve seen last night. It’s not like I’m making up stories, you know.”
I didn’t answer. But it doesn’t mean I’m withdrawing myself from this argument, it’s just… I’m not sure what to say and think about Rose.
If he’s right, then I don’t know what to do about it.
“Do you still believe she likes me?”
“Why not? I mean… I could see it from the way she talks to you. And the way she stares at you when you’re not looking.”
“You should work as a detective. You’re so good at it.”
“Hey! Take my words seriously. If you won’t, you might get in trouble one day because you’re not listening.”
I stopped walking, which made him stop, too.
“If ever your speculations are true, we couldn’t do anything about it, Tom.”
“Right… you’re right.”
He finally dropped it.
*****
***JENNIE***
She left me in the living room and asked me to browse the internet for something to watch, while she prepares our snacks.
What should I get? Should I go for the new ones? Or the old ones?
I couldn’t decide because I’m not a moviegoer.
“Have you chosen something already?”
She said when she entered the living room with a bowl of popcorn in her hands.
“Hmm… What do you want for a movie? I mean… should it be romantic, horror, or what?”
“Nah… It could be anything. It doesn’t matter, as long as it doesn’t bore you. That’s fine with me.”
She said after she laid the bowl on the coffee table and sat beside me.
“Then… why don’t we see Harry Potter? Or Fantastic Beasts, maybe?”
“Oh… so you’re a Harry Potter fan, huh?”
She picked up the remote to play the movie on their TV.
“Hmm… since the Sorcerer’s Stone. You’re a fan, too?”
“I have the complete book collection in my room.”
I tilted my head at her, and she’s beaming a wide smile on her face.
She moved closer to the coffee table to pick up the bowl of popcorn and handed it to me.
Geez! Stop being so gentle on me. I’m already losing my head because of you. Don’t make it worse! I want to say. But there’s also a part of me that wants the gestures she’s giving me.
After she handed me the popcorn, I noticed that she’s now sitting closer to me than when she first sat on the couch.
Did she intentionally move closer? Well, I’m not complaining, it’s just…
“Are you okay?”
Do I look like I’m not? Oh… maybe because of my reaction when she moved closer?
“Hmm… Yeah. Of course.”
She nodded and turned her gaze back to the TV.
“Hmm… Lisa?”
“Yes?”
“I just remember something.”
And this something is bugging me the whole afternoon. I need to let it out.
“What’s that?”
“Your friend Rose… I think she doesn’t like me.”
She didn’t answer. Maybe she’s thinking or something. I don’t know.
“Are you more than…”
“No… She’s not… I mean, we’re just friends.”
She sounded so defensive, but I have this feeling that she’s telling the truth.
“Does it bother you she doesn’t like you?”
Oh… Does it bother me?
Well, it’s more of… is she jealous? Because that’s how she looked at me. Like I’m a villain in a movie. That I’m new, but I’m getting your full attention.
“I don’t know. Maybe, I just feel uncomfortable with it. With the way she stared at me like I’m getting something from her, that I shouldn’t.”
“Hmm… I get it.”
*****
***LISA***
The movie already started when she called my name.
Well, I don’t care because I like the way she said it with her sweet voice. It’s low and almost whispering. I’d do everything to hear that again.
Then she told me about what she thinks about Rose. That maybe she doesn’t like her.
So, does this mean I’m the only one who didn’t notice about what happened last night? Is that how focused I am on her?
If Rosie doesn’t like her, should I be bothered about it?
Hmm… I shouldn’t, right?
I don’t think Rose will do something that will ruin our friendship, and I’m sure about that.
But I must not ignore the situation. I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable, and if Rosie is making her feel that, then I won’t let them meet again.
“Will it bother you if one of your friends doesn’t like me, too?”
“Yeah. But if you don’t have any plans of making friends with them, I would understand. Not because they’re my friends doesn’t mean you’re required to connect yourself to them.”
Well said. At least I don’t need to please lots of people, right?
“Lisa? Sweetheart?”
I heard mom calling in the hallway, going to the living room. She might have heard the TV.
“Mom?”
I stood up to meet her.
“Lisa!”
She blurted out when she saw me walking towards her.
I kissed her cheek and hugged her tight.
I missed her so much, and I could feel from the hug she gave me she misses me, too.
I waited for us to disengage before I spoke again.
“Why didn’t you inform me you’re coming home tonight? I should’ve cooked something for you.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. My flight should be on Saturday, instead of today. So, it’s a brief notice. I have no time in calling you.”
Well, there’s no point in questioning it, right? What matters is, she’s here. And I have someone with me, even just for several days.
“Wait, we have a visitor.”
She smiled at my back.
Shit! I forgot Jennie is here.
Jennie’s already standing when I step backward to introduce her to my mom, smiling.
“Mom, this is Jennie. Jennie, this is my mom.”
“The girlfriend?”
She said while looking at Jennie, and when she’s done saying the words, she shifted her gaze on me, smiling.
“Mom? You’re embarrassing me.”
I said under my breath, shaking my head.
“I’m sorry!”
I almost whisper the words when I said it to Jennie.
“Oh… You two are not?”
I shook my head. Although I like the title.
“I’m sorry.”
She said to me, then she turned to face Jennie.
“I’m sorry, honey.”
Jennie slightly bowed her head before she said that’s okay.
“Call me Julia, instead. You’re not working for me, so please don’t call me ma’am. But you can call me MOM, if you want.”
She returned her gaze to me and winked.
I couldn’t help but smile at how cool my mom is.
“Anyway, I won’t ruin your movie night. I’ll go upstairs and take a shower. Okay?”
She stepped forward to hug Jennie.
“Hope to see you again, honey.”
She said after their hug.
“And I know I will. Right? Sweetheart?”
She said while eyeing me with a grin.
“Mom! Just take your shower. You need that.”
“Okay. Okay. I’ll go now.”
Jennie waited for mom to exit the room before she spoke again.
“I like your mom… She’s so cool.”
“Can I be my mom?”
So you could like me, too? I want to say.
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